Am I that easy to forget ?

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School… I was the TOPPER. A person associated with studies and there’s where my life used to end.
But puberty had to hit… My first crush … Ohh man! I liked him so much. That weird feeling of love being in the air. We became friend, life was so beautiful.

Friends, then best friends. He broke up with her then girlfriend. All was going fine, I liked him, he knew it, but we were just friends. But the whole life changed, the day he proposed. I cannot express that feeling. The love I have for him. A simple girl engrossed in studies, experiences something very different and that’s love. The whole class was shocked with my status of being committed.

We were madly in love. The butterfly in my stomach when he touched me. All seemed magical when he was around. I still get goosebumps thinking about it. That was my love for him. I just could do anything for him, ANYTHING.  I cannot tell or express myself what I felt for him or still do.

2 years … We were together and trust me, the most beautiful years of my life. Then comes the twist in the tale, the school ended and I had to drop a year for my studies and stay back in Lucknow for coaching, However, he chose to move to Delhi for graduation. I thought it is a bit difficult to be away for a year but I had that trust in my relationship. It will survive. But I was wrong. It didn’t.

Three months passed and I was constantly complaining about him not giving me enough time over phone. I was the one who used to call him every single day and he didn’t bothered to pick sometimes.

I knew things were getting sour but never had the courage to accept this. I use to wait for him to call me or pay me a surprise visit. It never happened though.

It was my Birthday, my friends called me at midnight to wish; but all I was waiting for was a call from him. He didn’t called. I was shattered. I could sense the things are not same anymore. But it was hard to believe that he could be ignorant towards me. I could not sleep.

He called me in the morning. A smile came over my face but didn’t stay for long. I complained “Why didn’t you wished me at midnight.” He didn’t nudged. He had something important to say. I asked him to speak out. He said, he does not feel for me anymore. He said we could be friends. All my world came to a standstill.

I literally shattered. Tears rolled down my cheeks and my throat chocked. “Are you kidding me, I said?”. He was adamant. “Things can’t work in long distance and above all I don’t feel for you. It was a mere infatuation. I tried to make you understand by ignoring you, but it seems you are not getting it,” he said.

He stressed that we could still be friends. If it was easy. 

I told him I can’t stop loving you. How can you do this to me. May I know what my mistake is? We can work on it.

He yelled at me “Why can’t you just MOVE ON”. The phone disconnected.

I can’t get the last words he said, out of my head. We used to be inseparable. I thought I was replaceable. The thought that always hovered my mind was, “AM I THAT EASY TO FORGET?”

Well, Here I am, around more than six months of our breakup.

Gave my paper, waiting for my results and now I realize what is being heartbroken. Today I took a promise not to contact him anymore.

I feel empty within me. This one year of drop made me broke all my contacts and now I am here, with no one around to share my feeling. I never knew I am so weak, I thought I am very strong but I was wrong.

I am completely shattered but my smile won’t let you know that. I don’t blame him or maybe I do, I don’t know. But one thing I know, he is the person who gave me the best days of my life and now he the same person giving the worst days of my life.

I still love him, with the same intensity I did. Nothing has changed from my side.

But heartbreaks change you, I don’t talk to people much now. I act so mature. I have just changed. I have changed a lot!

I am broken.
That’s my story.
A girl trying to MOVE ON.

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